Catch-All Catch-Up Post!

Life is almost back to normal for the Hubbies, with the exception of me being asleep on the couch every night by 8 PM and in bed by 10 PM. Nothing short of a miracle there. I might actually be turning into a morning person after a lifetime of dedicating myself to the night life. Wait - nope - scratch that, I think I'm getting ahead of myself!

Many of you have asked me how I am feeling...the answer...GREAT. Anything is an improvement from the past few weeks...but really, I feel pretty good. I am still dealing with pain in my throat and mouth so I am still on some heavy pain meds. But I have been able to gradually reduce my doses and frequency of doses which is great. The doctor says I shouldn't rush it, so we are just taking it day by day. I am still unable to eat and take everything by liquid in my feeding tube. I am still really tired and try to take a nap when Brady does. I am also back to work - part time and from home - so not a huge adjustment - but it feels good to be back in the saddle. I would say I'm not quite 100% but almost!

The redness in my face has gone down a lot, but you won't see it in these next pictures. They are from my last days of radiation and also a few pictures from our End of Radiation Celebration that we had at Haven of Rest on the Monday following my last treatment. We wanted to PARTY and also thank everyone who had been praying for us. I wish all of YOU could have come too! I'd be happy to celebrate again with any or all of you!

Jason and I on the last day of radiation, with five dozen chocolate chip cookies for the doctor, nurses, and radiation techs. We were popular that day! And there is my famous RED BEARD again!

Brady thought all the balloons were for HIM.

The cake for the celebration

The three of us...please Jason, open your eyes...

Hugs all around!This is what's known as a giddy, red-faced grin.

Me sitting with "Grandpa Gary" and "Grandma Lola" and "Aunt Gail" and Brady's buddy Cole, who all (even Cole) really helped us out with Brady during my treatment!

Sometimes he just gets shy :) Our friends Lee (behind Jason) and Jim (making ninja moves)

Trying to keep the boy corralled after the party :)

Somehow he always ends up on my lap...love him!

Special time with Grandma - sharing chips :)

More evidence of my super-organized boy and possible future diagnosis of OCD. He lines up his little people perfectly, and gets mad if you touch them! Look the the left Brady, those two are a little close together...better fix it!

Finally it is nice enough to play outside, or "help" Daddy build the new fire pit. Even in his styling pajama pants and boots.

Brady's first pair of muddy boots - a milestone!This picture is the only shot I managed to get of him when he found one of my feeding tubes and filled it up with his cheez-its. He also lifted up his shirt and put the tube up to his belly button, but I couldn't coax him to do that again!

This is what's known as his "you have got to be kidding me" face - I get it a lot lately!

See?

THANKS for checking in with us again! We appreciate your continued prayers for healing.

Radiation Photos...and what I look like now

I AM FINISHED! No more radiation for me...ever. Radiation is a "one shot deal" meaning that even if the cancer comes back, it will have to be treated another way. Not that we are focusing on the cancer coming back...because it's NOT. With all the people praying for me, it wouldn't dare!

Now, don't be scared by some of the photos that I am posting. We wanted to get some photos of the radiation process, my lovely mask, and what I look like now that radiation is completed. They aren't exactly the most flattering pictures. Even though these past couple of weeks weren't exactly the best of times, we still want to remember all that we can from what God taught us and how He healed me.

First off, a few photos of how cancer took over our home. The counter next to the sink and the cupboard above was overflowing with meds, syringes, Ensure, vitamins, and yes even lovely items like Maalox and Milk of Magnesia. What can I say, cancer isn't exactly glamorous! You see all those red bottles in the cupboard? All mine. See the bottles full of morphine? Mine. Boxes of fentanyl patches? Yeah, mine. Everything here is mine. And all were used on a daily basis. I still have lost track of how many prescriptions I am on.

And then the dresser in the bedroom, where my nightly meds were dispensed and my dressing on my feeding tube was changed. Every night, Nurse Jason would transport all of my needed meds upstairs and keep my chart updated. He's the best male nurse in the world!This is the radiation room where I spent M-F, 15 minutes per day for almost seven weeks. That is my mask laying on the table. The radiation lights would surround me and rotate throughout the sessions.

Here I am being lifted closer to the lights on the fancy schmancy table.

And this is the creepiest picture of all. This is me strapped into my mask. Can you see now why I would struggle with claustrophobia?? You can see the curve of my nose and then there is a mouthpiece underneath the mask that is holding my mouth open and my tongue perfectly still. I kinda look like a corpse, don't I? The hard, plastic mesh is pushed up directly on to my skin. I usually had "waffle face" when I was finished.

This was me after a few days of treatment and into second week of chemo. Just starting to burn and have sore lips, but really doing just fine.

And this is me now, red beard and all. I decided to wear my stripes with pride. Lost about 35 pounds,* gained new perspective on my life, gained new attitude and appreciation for the goodness of God.
*Just a friendly reminder, if you say I am "lucky" or you are "jealous" because I lost weight then I will punch you in the face. In love, of course :)

Here is our "before" family picture during Christmas...

And again, here we are now. You might notice a trend with the boy. He's not exactly cooperative.

Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. The way you all rallied around me and cheered me through was amazing. I have the best support system. Thank you for joining us on this cancer journey!

First haircut

During my treatment, Jason and Granny took Brady for his first official haircut, which made him look about 12 years old. I've trimmed up his hair myself quite a few times, but this was his first trip to the salon. I couldn't keep up with the mop any longer, as he was looking rather neglected and not like a baby version of Jim Halpert like I hoped! Although I was sad that I couldn't go with them, I practically pushed them out the door as the mop was gaining a life of it's own. Jason took about 50 pictures so I didn't really miss much!

"Before"

"During" (yes, he has TWO lollipops)

"After" - handsome boy all ready for sixth grade!

Calling all Prayer Warriors

Still here, and I apologize for being a bit sporadic with my blog posts. I still can claim lack of energy, right?

This week is my final week of treatment - only five more treatments - I am so excited for Friday to get here! However, my treatments are now a source of anxiety for me, as my pain continues to increase. But the biggest source of fear for me is the claustrophobia of being trapped in the mask, unable to move, with a slightly compromised airway.

If you are able and available, I would appreciate your prayers this week from 4:00 PM to 4:15 PM EST. This is when I am actually in treatment, and when my anxiety is at its highest. I am usually on the brink of panic during this time - it is hard for me to describe since I've never struggled with anxiety before. My doctor and nurses have been extremely understanding. They now allow Jason to go back into the treatment room with me until they start radiation, and then he goes to the patient waiting room (as opposed to the lobby, where all the other family members must wait) and prays for me the whole time. I am sure he would love all you prayer warriors out there to join him. I know I would appreciate it too!

Jason's mom left yesterday. Brady had so much fun with Granny - we are so thankful for help and her willingness to put her own life on hold to take care of us! My mom arrived just as she left, and Jason only had to make one trip to the airport to complete the "Mom Swap" - God sure worked out those details!

Thanks again for praying for us. We have consistently felt love and support from all of you, and we are so thankful.

Love,
Angie (for the Hubbies)

This is why it's hard to stay down in the dumps around here...

Update From My Couch

I think this couch might be taking on the shape of my rear. Just a frightening thought for you.

A lot of things have happened since last week, and I apologize for not updating sooner. I now have my feeding tube and am no longer starving. However, I am still not where I need to be with calories. I am supposed to be at five cans of Ensure per day and I am lucky to hit two cans. With my touchy stomach and all of the pain meds I am on, I am very careful not to have too much lest I end up getting sick! I am adding a bit more every day, so I'll get there.

I am still struggling with pain, but not nearly as bad since I have the goooooood drugs now! I still have the mouth sores, but at this point the pain that I have is from my mouth, tongue, face, etc which are all burned from the radiation. I am on a pain patch now (I think it is called fentanyl?) and I also have liquid morphine for any break through pain. So far, the patch has worked great. Today was the first day I wore the pain patch, and I only needed three extra shots of morphine to make it through the day. This is down from taking morphine every two hours all day long, and counting down the time in between. I am very thankful for the patch and my doctor who was willing to try different things with me until something worked. At this point, if my pain gets worse, they can increase the dosage for me. I am really hoping this is the last pain prescription I will need!

By the way, I only have TWELVE radiation treatments left! I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Unfortunately, my side effects will last for long after my treatment is over. I will probably need the feeding tube for a few months, as well as pain meds. But that is OKAY! I'll be on the road to recovery!

Linda left on Saturday and Jason's mom, Alice, is here this week and next. Brady LOVES having so many different people to play with. He is becoming quite the ham and loves an audience. He seems to learn something new each day and is really into books lately. He brightens up the world for me!

Throughout all this, the Lord has been so good to us, and has provided for us and cared for us better than we could ever imagine. We are so blessed, and all our praise goes to HIM. (I know I say that a lot, and I really mean it)

Love,
Angie (for the Hubbies)

Auntie Linda and Brady having a cozy morning :)

A Boy and His Book

Update Day 19

Today I am having a feeding tube placed in my stomach. Please pray that this procedure will go smoothly! They are keeping me overnight in the hospital so I should be home (and no longer hungry!) by tomorrow afternoon. While the feeding tube is another hassle, I am in desperate need of it as I have lost 25 pounds in 3 weeks and haven't had more than water in the past several days.

Regarding the 25 pounds lost...please please please do not say you are "jealous" or I am "lucky"...I will probably punch you in the face. Just a friendly reminder.

We are still dealing with pain management, as I can't seem to get the right combination of pain meds that will allow me to sleep through the night with no pain. We are talking curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out, stifling screams kind of pain. Jason hates it when I am going through this and always insists on talking to the doctor. I am thankful for this because I would probably try to tough it out or let things go.

So, in a bit I am headed to an early radiation appointment and then we need to be to the hospital around 11. Brady and Linda are hanging out at home today since it is kind of snowy. I am so thankful for her help. This morning Brady woke up at 4:45 AM and Linda took him in her bed so we could sleep. THANK YOU Linda!! :)

Thanks for praying...be back online in no time!
Love,
Angie (for the Hubbies)

Do you ever have days when you wake up feeling like this?

Update Day 13

13 days of treatment completed...over 1/3 of the way there! I have a few prayer requests...

• I have very painful sores on the inside of my mouth and lips that are from the chemo - but they aren't getting any better. They make it impossible for me to eat. Please pray that I will be able to get more calories in me...if things don't improve by Monday, the doctor says we need to consider the feeding tube option.
• My tongue is starting to feel a bit raw from the radiation, so I have pain from that as well. I did talk to my doctor and he has given me a new pain med prescription; hopefully I will soon be able to eat and also sleep better. Please pray for both!
  
• Nancy and Hannah are here to help out this week and have been such a blessing. I love having the distraction of people and also the help around the house. They leave on Friday morning...please pray for safe travels!
• Pray for Brady...he's really been naughty lately and not himself. I don't know if he is acting out because he knows something is "up" and things aren't normal, or if he's just being an 18 month old. Either way, I don't have much patience or grace to be a good parent lately.
• Pray for my attitude, as its been easy for me to feel sorry for myself and be whiny...not to mention tears seem to flow quickly and freely these days! Sometimes it seems like the days are dragging and I'll be going to treatment forever. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Pray that I'll look to the Lord when I feel down in the dumps.
• Pray for my hubby, he's amazing and he has so much patience with me. Pray that his strength keeps up. People have been really encouraging to him at work, and he gets phones calls and texts from good friends. I know he appreciates it.

That's all for now. I thought I wasn't feeling real chatty, but you know me, I always have something to say and I can never keep it short!! :) Thanks again for your prayers.
Love,
Angie