Why We Will Never Win the Coveted "Parents of the Year" Award.

Reason #1

We let Brady get this close to the TV.

Yes, I took these pictures from the comfort of my chair.

Reason #2
We asked for a portable DVD player for Christmas because sometimes he hogs our TV. Granny and Papaw sent him one. He LOVES IT.

Reason #3
The DVD player volume conflicts with our TV volume.

Reason #4
We still occasionally give him a bottle (I said occasionally! Don't you judge me!)Reason #5
Sometimes we take photos of him when he is being crabby.

Reason #6
We let him chew on balloons...

...and beaded necklacesReason #7
We let him play in closets

Reason #8
His sleep schedule is not always regular.

BUT...he's a bright light in a dark time for us. His blue eyes look right into my soul. He pats my leg when I cry. He says "dude" and has the most adorable chubby little fingers. His hugs and open-mouth kisses can cure cancer :) Who knows when we will be able to have another one. So I am thankful for this one. And as the days get long and my patience is put to the test, I need to remember not to take him for granted. Thank you, Lord, for this precious little man!

Photos from the Last Week

We've had a busy week - we had Kimmie, Martain, and Baby Jaidyn visit from PA last weekend, and then I went to Emmaus (in Iowa) for two days. Brady actually stayed behind, went to Grandma Lola's during the day, and had "guy time" with Daddy at night. This is the first time he hasn't accompanied me to Iowa - even back to my first trip, he was swimming around in my belly! I missed him so much, but my trip was simple, easy, and relaxing. However, I did find it ironic that on one of my flights I was seated in front of a loud, demanding, seat kicking, adorable little boy with fat cheeks. It felt just like home!

We put the tree up before the Fergusons arrived. For obvious reasons, our tree is only decorated on the top half, and Brady has his own special tree to "decorate" himself. We only lost two glass ball ornaments in the making of that decision.

This is what's known as a blackmail photo for the future. I just dare Brady to bring a girl home...ever.Here is my cute boy, sitting in Daddy's chair watching cartoons on Saturday morning. Here is the cute momma (Kimmie) with Baby Jaidyn, so sweet and cute and incredibly tiny!We brought the swing up from the basement for Jaidyn. You can see how well that worked out!Jaidyn snuggling with her loveys - every baby needs a lovey!

Martain and Brady were best buddies - in fact, Brady wouldn't leave Martain alone!There are six people in this picture. Can you find them all?Doggy gets a ride in the car

Talking on the "phone"

And now, we are counting down the days until Christmas in Iowa!

Finally a Decision

My oncologist (Dr. Simmons) called me this morning. I will be starting radiation therapy in January. He said he re-evaluated my risk factors and the conversation he had with Dr. Khalil (my surgeon) and overall he said what trumps any other factor is a concerned surgeon. So he made the decision that I need to start radiation.

My first step is to have my teeth evaluated - all of my teeth must be healthy before radiation, so some of them may have to be extracted. Yikes. He is referring me to a dentist who works with radiation patients.

I am not sure what the protocol will be for my treatment, but I do know that it will be every day for six weeks straight. We will have quite a bit of logistical details to work out, so we would appreciate prayers for this. Especially I am concerned for Brady; obviously we will need help with him while I am in my treatments.

I am okay with this. I'll admit, it scares me. The side effects won't be pretty. But the end result will be peace of mind that comes with the aggressive treatment. And we know that the healing truly comes from the Lord, and we are so thankful for such a Great Physician.

In the meantime, I'll be eating anything and everything that I can get my hands on, since my taste buds are about to be fried. Bring on the Christmas treats!

The Update is...there is no Update!

We are on hold with an official decision regarding radiation until next week. My surgeon is presenting my case to a "tumor board" at the hospital on Thursday, (basically a bunch of doctors who confer on difficult cases) and my oncologist will discuss my case with his colleagues this week as well. I fall into a "gray area" as far as treatment goes, therefore a decision won't be made until all the proper authorities agree!

The reason for the "gray area" is that my pathology report shows peri-neural invasion. This means that the cancer could be traveling along a nerve somewhere that we don't know about. I also could still have some cancer hiding in the base of my tongue. (My surgeon is concerned that because the tongue acts as a muscle, when he initially performed surgery on the area the tongue could have actually retracted and therefore hidden some of the cancer). Kind of hard to explain, and understand, but that's where we are at with things. A PET/CT scan at this point would do no good, since the area is still healing. Also, PET/CT scans are not 100% accurate.

Due to the fact that this is an aggressive cancer, the first two years of treatment is critical. If the doctors choose not to treat me with radiation, then instead I will have PET/CT scans every 3-4 months. If anything lights up on the scans, we would make a decision then.

I feel very comfortable with the doctors making this decision. The oncologist made a phone call to the surgeon right then and there to discuss things before sending me on my way. I am comforted knowing that they are not taking this decision lightly, and that several doctors are weighing in on my case.

I guess the toughest thing for me and Jason is that we were kind of floating on cloud nine, thinking this was over. And it's not over. It sort of feels like we got the cancer-smack right in the face again. But this time, we are only waiting on treatment decisions. I am still stage one. My surgery was still highly successful. There really is no need for us to feel anxiety. But we still do!

Clearly God has more to teach us! I know that I need the daily reminder that this is out of our hands, and in His hands!

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Thank you for being so faithful!

I think he's naughtier with the hat on backwards...

Brady has a thing about hats lately - he loves to wear one, which is a change from the past 15 months of his life. His favorite is his Cubs hat. And, I've noticed a trend...if the hat is on backwards, the boy is naughtier. Of course, he doesn't have pants on either, and what little boy ever behaves when he doesn't have pants on?

Silly Daddy

I just love Brady's belly laugh!

Snapshots of the little man

Almost 16 months old now! Here he is playing in the "corral", climbing on the kitchen chairs, reading and having a snack at his new table, eating chocolate cake after dinner, wearing his Cubs hat, and using a fork! What happened to my little baby?

Quick Update and Prayer Request

Just a quick prayer request. I met with my doctor (Dr. Khalil) last week and found out that radiation is still a possibility for me. My oncologist (Dr. Simmons) is now "waffling" as to whether I should have radiation or not, and Dr. Khalil is pushing for me to have it. He says that he knows it might be considered "overkill" but with my age and the nature of the cancer, that is what he recommends. The decision is ultimately up to Dr. Simmons, but he confers with Dr. Khalil.

The reason why Dr. Simmons is now "waffling" is because when we originally met, a portion of my pathology report was missing from my patient file. He told me he still wanted to see that part of the report, and would follow up with me in a week or so, but he felt very strongly about me not needing radiation. We took that to the bank! He didn't follow up, so we figured no news was good news. Now I find out that he's been talking with Dr. Khalil and that's why he hasn't followed up with me.

One thing I found comforting is that Dr. Simmons studied at University of Iowa, which Dr. Khalil says is "one of the best head and neck cancer centers in the United States." Well, we all know that anything good comes from Iowa! ha ha! While I am not exactly a Hawkeye fan (at ALL) I wouldn't mind kicking this cancer in the butt, Iowa style! :)

I don't have an appointment with Dr. Simmons until December 1, so I have a while to wait. We aren't exactly on pins and needles here, but we would still appreciate your prayer. I am hoping this is much ado about nothing...and it will be confirmed that I won't need radiation.

Thanks for praying for our family, once again!

Scar Progression

I thought I would post a picture of how my scar looks six weeks post surgery, especially for my friends and family who are out of town. Overall I think it looks great; I am not self conscious of if at all, which is good because it is hard to hide! Feel free to gawk!

WARNING: I also posted the "before" picture that was taken one day after my surgery so you can see the healing. DO NOT scroll down if you are faint of heart or enjoying your lunch!

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"Before"

Blowing off some steam...

It seems like at least once a day, Brady needs to get outside where he can just run free. The fresh air is good for both of us. Most days we wait until after nap. Since the weather is cooling down, I decided to bundle him up in his new snowsuit. A little big, and the jester hood might be a bit much, but overall, isn't he cute??