A Boy and His Book

Update Day 19

Today I am having a feeding tube placed in my stomach. Please pray that this procedure will go smoothly! They are keeping me overnight in the hospital so I should be home (and no longer hungry!) by tomorrow afternoon. While the feeding tube is another hassle, I am in desperate need of it as I have lost 25 pounds in 3 weeks and haven't had more than water in the past several days.

Regarding the 25 pounds lost...please please please do not say you are "jealous" or I am "lucky"...I will probably punch you in the face. Just a friendly reminder.

We are still dealing with pain management, as I can't seem to get the right combination of pain meds that will allow me to sleep through the night with no pain. We are talking curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out, stifling screams kind of pain. Jason hates it when I am going through this and always insists on talking to the doctor. I am thankful for this because I would probably try to tough it out or let things go.

So, in a bit I am headed to an early radiation appointment and then we need to be to the hospital around 11. Brady and Linda are hanging out at home today since it is kind of snowy. I am so thankful for her help. This morning Brady woke up at 4:45 AM and Linda took him in her bed so we could sleep. THANK YOU Linda!! :)

Thanks for praying...be back online in no time!
Love,
Angie (for the Hubbies)

Do you ever have days when you wake up feeling like this?

Update Day 13

13 days of treatment completed...over 1/3 of the way there! I have a few prayer requests...

• I have very painful sores on the inside of my mouth and lips that are from the chemo - but they aren't getting any better. They make it impossible for me to eat. Please pray that I will be able to get more calories in me...if things don't improve by Monday, the doctor says we need to consider the feeding tube option.
• My tongue is starting to feel a bit raw from the radiation, so I have pain from that as well. I did talk to my doctor and he has given me a new pain med prescription; hopefully I will soon be able to eat and also sleep better. Please pray for both!
  
• Nancy and Hannah are here to help out this week and have been such a blessing. I love having the distraction of people and also the help around the house. They leave on Friday morning...please pray for safe travels!
• Pray for Brady...he's really been naughty lately and not himself. I don't know if he is acting out because he knows something is "up" and things aren't normal, or if he's just being an 18 month old. Either way, I don't have much patience or grace to be a good parent lately.
• Pray for my attitude, as its been easy for me to feel sorry for myself and be whiny...not to mention tears seem to flow quickly and freely these days! Sometimes it seems like the days are dragging and I'll be going to treatment forever. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Pray that I'll look to the Lord when I feel down in the dumps.
• Pray for my hubby, he's amazing and he has so much patience with me. Pray that his strength keeps up. People have been really encouraging to him at work, and he gets phones calls and texts from good friends. I know he appreciates it.

That's all for now. I thought I wasn't feeling real chatty, but you know me, I always have something to say and I can never keep it short!! :) Thanks again for your prayers.
Love,
Angie

Brady and Ellen

Brady and Ellen were fast friends...she even let him snooze in her bed! :)

Day 8

Today I will complete my 8th day of radiation treatments. I believe that means I have 25 left, but not certain on the final number. The side effects of the radiation are starting to set in and are not pleasant. My entire mouth and tongue are raw and burned, and my lips are kinda bubbly and sore too. I look like a celebrity who had a bad collagen treatment :)

Food is still not my friend, as anything in my mouth usually feels like sand/cardboard/dirt and incites the gag reflex. Eek. Thankfully my nausea from the chemo is completely gone, so the gag reflex usually starts and ends with just the gag!

You can sign me up for The Biggest Loser because I lost 16 pounds in one week. I...am...hungry!!

So far I am filling my tummy with high calorie juices and this morning drank my first Ensure. It smelled like Brady's old baby formula but thankfully it didn't taste too bad. Today I tried to take a nap and ended up thinking about all the food I would love to eat...for some reason right now I keep going to burger and french fries...kinda hard to sleep with a growling tummy!

I also have dry mouth from the treatment, so my mouth tastes like cotton and I usually have a water bottle or something to drink nearby. I can only imagine what my breath smells like but so far I am too afraid to ask!

My energy is up, and I feel like the awful chemo has finally run its course. Soon my white counts will drop and I won't be able to go out in public, so this morning Ellen and I even made a Target run. Target can do so much for the soul! :)

Ellen has been such a blessing. I have not lifted a finger around here! Brady loves her, too. I am indebted to her for giving up time with her own family to spend time here caring for mine.

Jason is still burning the candle at both ends, running me to and from my appointments, working full-time, shoveling snow, etc etc. This morning he was encouraged by a card left in his office with a $200 gas card inside of it, simply signed "Love, Jesus"...we are so blessed!

I am so thankful for you all, such a wonderful support system. Thanks for sticking by us in prayer!

Love,
Angie (for the Hubbards)

Change in Plans - Chemo canceled

Today's doctor visit caught Jason and I a bit by surprise. When I was in for bloodwork yesterday, I saw my oncologist (Dr. Mahesh) in the hall and he stopped to talk to me about my nausea/vomiting/generally horrible experience with the chemo (Cisplatin). I mentioned to him that I was experiencing hearing loss and ringing in my ears which is one of the rare side effects of Cisplatin. He bumped a few patients so he could see me today to discuss it. This morning we went in and he told us that he is stopping the chemo, as the hearing loss I have already experienced is probably permanent, and if he were to continue treatment I would likely go permanently deaf. The risks far outweigh the benefits in my case.

He also put to rest any concerns we have about stopping the chemo. The main tool in fighting my cancer is the radiation. The chemo was an added treatment and is not critical to curing me. Therefore, my prognosis is still great without the chemo. We feel comfortable with this decision and the way he explained it. And honestly, a little relieved if I can be selfish. Chemo was and still is AWFUL for me. Apparently not all patients react as violently as I do - leave it to me to fall in the minority. I am happy to be rid of it, especially if my prognosis is not affected!

In other news, the nausea is finally subsiding. I am still weak and very tired. Jason is driving me to my 4:00 radiation appointment every day. Having Ellen here has been a huge blessing. We are so thankful for her help! I am still not taking many calls or even getting on the computer much. But I love to hear from you all when I do log on. I have also received so much "cancer mail" this week and last...it is so encouraging! Yesterday I took it all with me to my radiation appointment and read it in the car. I love it - thank you!

Day 3/Day 4

Ok, so maybe I lied about how often I will update. We'll see. I posted on Facebook that day 3 passed by in a blur of nausea and nausea meds...in other words, when I wasn't sleeping as a result of the meds, then I was puking and needing the meds. But as of tonight...drum roll please...I am doing pretty well and even managed to eat for the first time since Monday. (8 pounds gone already, but who's counting...hahaha!)

My doctor decided to put in a port for chemo and blood draws and I will have that done next week. I have tiny veins that hide away, so yesterday they poked me for about an hour before they found anything. Today was a little better, but not much. Basically anytime they want to draw blood or administer hydration or chemo, it's torture time for me because my veins disappear. The port insertion is a same day surgery and will be much easier on everyone involved. Please pray that my white blood counts will be high enough so that my body can handle the surgery.

Brady spent Mon, Tues, and Wed at Grandma Lola's house (a family friend). But this morning he was home with me for a few hours. I managed to feed him breakfast and change his diaper and get in some snuggle time (he was being so sweet!) before my friend Stacy and her two kids came over for the day. Back to bed I went until it was time for my hydration appointment again. I slept through most of that, too. Also slept through my radiation appointment. And yet I am still so exhausted and weak.

We came home to many treats in the mail (yay cancer mail!), a clean house, folded laundry, and a happy baby (thank you Stacy, Samuel, and Rebecca!). Overall I would say this has been the best day yet, so I'm hoping we are on the upswing. I can't even describe how I felt those first couple days. UGH. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I will take the exhaustion over the nausea ANY DAY.

We also have full-time help coming in next week, my friend Ellen Volgarino is flying in for a week from Dubuque. She has been a huge encouragement to me, as she is a cancer survivor herself and knows what I am going through. I can't wait to see her...and we can really use her!

Tomorrow is an easy day as I only have radiation, no chemo appointments. Looking forward to sleep and more sleep (I feel like I can't get enough).

Thanks for reading this, thanks for your prayers and encouragement...and now, even though it is only 8 PM, I am going to bed!

Love,
Ange

Day 1/Day 2 Update

Don't worry, I'm not going to update after every day, or even every two days. That would get me several nominations for "Most Boring Blog of the Year"...although when I win, I could put the trophy right up on the shelf next to my "Parent of the Year" trophy!

Since we just had returned to Ohio on Sunday, we finished up a ton of errands and dropped Brady off at Grandma Lola's before making our 11 AM appointment with the radiation center. That appointment was quick; they took a few films of my neck and tongue, and the actual radiation itself took about 10 minutes. I didn't feel a thing; just claustrophobic in the mask that I wear that is formed to my face. I likely won't feel many side effects from the radiation for a few weeks. From here on out, I'll have my radiation at 4:00 every day. The time is a huge blessing because Jason can adjust his work schedule to be home for Brady and we don't need to find someone to take care of him every day.

After finishing radiation, we went upstairs in the same building for the chemotherapy. The Cancer Center I am being treated at is state of the art and has only been opened for a year. It is gorgeous. Everything is new, modern, and clean! I was placed in a chair by the floor-to ceiling windows with a great view of the lake effect snow! The chemo drug I am receiving is called Cisplatin, and the most obvious side effects are nausea and kidney damage. Because of the kidneys, I have to have IV hydration before and after the chemo infusion, including up to three days after chemo. So they first put me on a 2 hour IV drip, followed by 2 hour cisplatin, followed by another 1 hour of hydration. It was easy as pie for me. I read my book most of the time, also watched a little TV, and attempted to blow up my cell phone by texting almost non-stop!

We left around 5:30 and picked up Brady. Almost as soon as we got home, nausea set in fast even though the doctors put a strong anti-nausea med in my IV. I proceeded to vomit 8 times in 12 hours. That's a lot of lost sleep. Not to mention my stomach was practically empty so it was really painful. In the middle of the night, Jason called the doctor who promised to get us something stronger first thing in the morning.

So, we survived the night, which can only be described as pure torture. The nurse called around 11 AM and asked if we could come right away for my IV hydration, and they would give me several more anti-nausea drugs to try to get me feeling better. I feel better now after that round of treatment, but still not near 100%. I also have new anti-nausea meds that I can take here at home.

There you have it. Would appreciate prayer that the nausea goes away completely. I am such a wimp when it comes to throwing up! I am exhausted from all the meds as well - but I don't mind that! Posting this blog even takes a lot out of me. Now I plan to head for the couch and curl up under the blanket!

Thanks for your prayers. It means so much for us to hear from you all as well.
Angie (for the Hubbards)

Chemo and Radiation...here we go!

I apologize for the generic update, but we are just home to Ohio from Iowa and we so much to do before tomorrow! We wrote the following update for Asbury Community Chapel in Dubuque, as they spent some time praying for us today. It pretty much says it all. I also apologize for not updating sooner, but we found out about the chemo right before Christmas and we had a rough few days dealing with it. Thank you all for continuing to pray for us.

Dear ACC Family,

Happy New Year from the Hubbards! We are thankful for a wonderful break that we spent visiting Angie’s family in Iowa. Now it is back to reality. For us, 2010 will deliver a unique set of circumstances and challenges to our lives. During this time, we ask for your prayer.

Tomorrow, January 4, Angie will be starting her radiation as planned, and also chemotherapy to treat her tongue cancer. We initially thought that she would possibly receive “mild” chemotherapy, which was indicated by one of the doctors. But the oncologist who will administer the chemotherapy flat out told us it will be very tough treatment, and combined with the radiation, Angie will have a rough time for several weeks. A few people have asked us specifically “I thought they got all the cancer in surgery?” and yes, we thought that too. Things have changed dramatically; and for various reasons, now the doctors are certain there is still cancer left in the tongue or a “positive margin” as they say. All of the doctors that have reviewed Angie’s case agree with this assessment. Because of this and the aggressive nature of this type of cancer, we need both the chemo and radiation to kill off what was left behind.

So, tomorrow is a big day for Angie as both treatments will be administered. Radiation will continue every day for six weeks, and chemo will be once every three weeks. It will be administered through an IV infusion. At this point it is three doses with the possibility of a fourth dose. The side effects are heavy and will build up over time.

We are very thankful that we have enjoyed our Christmas with family but at the same time feel a heavy burden right now and appreciate your prayers. We are so thankful to have faithful prayer partners as we take on this trial. God is so faithful; we are continually thankful to Him and have experienced many blessings since Angie was first diagnosed.

A few specific prayer requests…

Pray for

1. Brady as he will have several different care takers over the next few weeks.
2. Our attitudes – That Angie would be upbeat and positive. For Jason that he would be patient and have a servant’s heart during this time.
3. For those who are traveling to help us – including Linda Johnson, Nancy and Hannah Lange, Jason’s mom Alice, and Angie’s mom Joanne. We are so thankful to have six straight weeks of help in our home.
4. That the side effects will be manageable. Angie would especially like to keep her hair. She is not shy to ask people to pray that the hair loss will be minimal!
5. That the cancer will be completely gone at the end of the treatments.
6. That we will seek the Lord throughout the treatment and pray that He will be glorified through us.
7. That our hearts will be open to what He is teaching us through this trial.

We will keep our family blog updated with Angie’s treatment and progress.

Thank you again for standing along side us in prayer!

Love,

Angie, Jason, and Brady